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Poetry by 91816119

Poetry by nightshade-keyblade


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Submitted on
November 22, 2012
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692 bytes
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1,151 (1 today)
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69
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Mama,
your baby girl's swimming
in dead of the night
hair, scarred knees,
overgrown weeds, and
countless pairs
of shoes-
with those
orange and yellow wheels
that hug my toes
and heels

I'm running into
parked cars
trying to get
my kite to fly
and hiding under
dashboards
listening to you
fight

I'm rummaging through
boxes of secrets
that Daddy tried
to hide-
solving puzzles with pieces
I'll never uncover
in these thoughts
of you
thoughts of swimming in hair
----
edited
(yay I can request critiques now!!!)
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013   General Artist
Congratulations on the DLD! :iconlainloveplz:
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:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you dollface!
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013   General Artist
You're always welcome, you wonderful wonderful soul! :huggle: <3 <3 <3
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:iconjacoooify:
Jacoooify Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Sublime ^_^
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:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you (=
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:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, so lovely. Congratulations on your DLD for this one. :)
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:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you (=
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:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Welcome. :)
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:iconnostrovia-poetry:
nostrovia-poetry Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wonderful poem. Thank you for sharing! It has a nice "river" flow to it.
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:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you very much!
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013   Writer
Featured [link]
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:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconfattestlaplz:
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013   Writer
:iconducks1plz::iconducks2plz::iconducks2plz:
Reply
:iconthecheshercat:
TheChesherCat Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love the first stanza especially, the whole thing is great. Congrats! :party:
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:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconsovereignsin:
SovereignSin Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Student Writer
So... uh... hey, um... congrats and stuff on the DLD... um...

<3
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:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
<3
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:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hey, congrats on the DLD! This is wonderful!
I love the rhythm you have set up in this. :clap:
Reply
:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, dear! :bow:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
A pleasure, ma'am. (:
Reply
:iconalapip:
alapip Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
congratulations on the DLD, Heather! :)
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:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you pip!
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:icontonepainter:
tonepainter Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the DLD! :D
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:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:D :heart:
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:iconlancelotprice:
LancelotPrice Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013
Congratulations on getting a DLD. :)
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:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconlancelotprice:
LancelotPrice Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013
:nod:
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:iconbark:
Bark Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Professional Writer
Congrats on the DLD! :D
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:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :hug:
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013   Writer
Oh- and congratulations on the DLD "Pick of the Day" feature! :icondownarrowplz: for a bit more.
Reply
:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013   Writer
Welcomes!
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013   Writer
Even the title works really well with this poem. It's something many can relate to.
Who never hears their parents disagree [fight]? Very few, I think.
Thank you. :+fav:
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:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconsupertighthugplz:
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013   Writer
Ow.
Reply
:iconilyilaice:
ilyilaice Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013
beautiful. i love this. it's painful but somehow the pain feels really hushed and stifled and of course that makes the pain much worse. what pretty writing.
Reply
:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much... and i s'pose it was an accident (the stifled feeling) but that's what i do with my pain... :tighthug:
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by =DailyLitDeviations and has been selected as our "Pick of the Day". It is featured in a news article here: [link] and on our main page.

Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article. Keep writing and keep creating.
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:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:faint:
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ouch. This one goes straight for the jugular, then heads up and sucker punches you in the face. ;)

Gorgeous work.
Reply
:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you
Reply
:iconrhynwilliams:
RhynWilliams Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013   Traditional Artist
its sad :( well written though :D
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:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you (=
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:iconrhynwilliams:
RhynWilliams Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013   Traditional Artist
welcome!
Reply
:icongoose-fat:
goose-fat Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013   Writer
hair
I feel like it's wrapping around my mouth. Scary.
And the whole first stanza is great.
Reply
:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
that is the feel i was going for (=
thank you so much.
Reply
:icontheantianti-drug:
TheAntiAnti-Drug Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
This is deep.
I love the strong imagery, and the sense of raw, young pain.
Reply
:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much :hug:
Reply
:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Your fantastic work has been featured here!
I'd really appreciate it if you could give some love to the other features and :+fav: the journal! :)
Reply
:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:tighthug: thank you!
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