so.

Not really sure what to say... i feel like i'm writing the awkward, "it's not you, it's me," letter.

i don't really feel like i'm at a place where i can share my writing (aka the innermost secrets of my soul).

After reading a book for school and having multiple conversations with people about it, i've found that my opinions and thoughts or feelings are very private to me. i don't like putting myself out there repeatedly only to be told i'm wrong. i don't like feeling so... exposed and vulnerable.

i don't imagine i'll be deleting this account anytime soon... i just want to feel like i'm still in control of some portion of myself... and right now, that means staying hidden.

i haven't been writing... i wrote a couple things but they were on my laptop which was stolen the first day of school. Things at "home" are difficult. i'm doing my best to stay strong. i'm still looking for work. i'm thankful for and annoyed at the rain. Walking in the rain isn't as graceful or pleasant as depicted in film.

i'm going to start writing again because i feel it tugging. i was starting to wonder what kind of writer i was if i didn't ever feel like putting pen to paper... what kind of writer i was if everything i've submitted has been denied publication. i don't know what kind of writer i am and i don't really even like calling myself one because i'm not very well read at all... but i'm going to start writing again. It's just not going to be anywhere very public.

i don't really know who i am right now, and i can't stand the thought of someone else figuring it out before i've had the chance.